Our discussion today is on the FLIGHT response. I’ll follow the same layout as with the FIGHT response sharing what causes it, how to recognize it, and how to resolve it. Remember that this is a personal journey. The things in your journal are honest and frank and sometimes very difficult to express. This is all part of the journey. In order to heal, you must first express and expel. Also remember, that this is a process. You will not remove all your trauma in one go. Be kind to yourself and don’t fret over slow beginnings. Many trauma responses will take years to overcome – this is a guide to starting that journey only.
Trauma can be defined as any event in your past that made a profound negative impact on you. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, anger, death, and loss, are only a few. Trauma that occurred as a child may seem silly as an adult, but if it has not been resolved, it continues to affect the adult. Things you may “know” are minor or silly, but you may still feel the response if not resolved. And there may be things that you have locked away so tightly that you don’t remember the event, but still have the response. What I am trying to say is this. Nothing is silly. Nothing is minor. Nothing can be brushed off and not resolved. And nothing is easy. This takes work on your part. BUT – the results will change your life for the good. Let’s get started!
The FLIGHT response is one in which you run from the things that scare or traumatize you, isolating yourself from harm. Imagine being in a dark forest with someone that wants to kill you and you are terrified. You can’t see them, but you can feel their malevolence and hear them as they torment you. What reaction would you have? Trembling, feeling like you will collapse, sharp labored breathing, skittishness. These are all symptoms. This occurs when a child feels abandoned by a parent or caregiver, similar to the FIGHT response. However, the feeling of hopelessness and inability to cope causes them to run. Situations that can create a FLIGHT response can include:
- When a child feels there is no way to get out of a situation safely
- When a child is physically abused
- When a child is sexually abused
- When a child is verbally abused
- When a child is abandoned either physically or emotionally
Many adults with the FLIGHT response are obsessive-compulsive, they turn to this as a way of protecting their environment and creating a perfect space for themselves. OCD as a trauma response is deeply rooted in becoming perfect, believing that if they are perfect the person(s) hurting them will come to love them and stop hurting them.
Examples of the FLIGHT response include:
- OCD tendencies
- Organizing / cleaning things when stressed
- Anxiety
- Uncomfortable in a crowd
- Solitary lifestyle
- Walking away from arguments
- Migraines
Managing the FLIGHT response. Stop. Breathe. Consider whether you are in an uncomfortable space or a dangerous space. If it is uncomfortable, try and slowly relax. Walk around and slowly breathe in. Understand that you are not in any danger. Understand that you will not be harmed.
Many find several little tricks that may help manage the response. Tapping has been known to aid in reducing anxiety and stress. This is a great article explaining the process. Yoga and other similar types of meditative relaxation also aid in reducing anxiety. I strongly suggest walking 30 minutes each day to destress and manage anxiety. Journaling is also a good method of working through this response, pouring it out on paper releases it from the body.
Resolving the FLIGHT response. Figuring out what caused the initial trauma allows you to begin to take steps to unpack the trauma from an adult perspective and move beyond it. Journaling will aid you not only in discovering the initial trauma but also your triggers. Facing each and working through the why will allow you to resolve and move beyond it. Meditation helps keep you in a positive mental attitude and lessens the chances of falling back into old habits.
Your tribe. Take your tribe with you when you are in a situation that you know will trigger your FLIGHT response – a bar, a crowded social space, a concert, etc. Let them know you will be stressed and anxious during the outing and let them aid in calming you. Note. This can turn into a crutch and should only be used as a starting point. Move from the whole tribe to one person, to going out on your own and having them a call away. Baby steps.
I’m in a situation that scares me. When you find yourself out and alone – and terrified remember these things. It is natural to have these reactions. You need to learn to differentiate between the FLIGHT response and your natural wariness. Second, breathe. Slow down your heart rate. Find a well-lit place and relax. Use tapping when necessary. Third, determine whether you are truly in danger or if the environment was a trigger. If in danger, call 911. If not, understand you are safe. Once you are calm enough to move, do so. Be patient with yourself – remind yourself that you are working towards your solution – be kind to yourself – remind yourself that you are doing better than before – you are taking positive steps forward.
Always remember that a FLIGHT response may be normal. Our parasympathetic nervous system takes over when we are in imminent danger. Don’t think that every time you have a FLIGHT response it is related to your past trauma. This is one reason that it is critical to resolve this trauma response so that you can trust in the parasympathetic nervous system response when it truly is needed.
Blessings – E