The holidays are here. For some people, this means pain, depression, and anxiety. This can be due to social anxiety, sensory overload, familial conflict, feelings of unworthiness, and past trauma. Working through these feelings can be challenging. Many people will either tolerate the stress of the day and fall apart alone or they will retreat and not participate adding a heavier layer of depression, guilt, and anxiety.
Do you struggle during the holidays? Do you wish you could enjoy the holidays? Do you dislike the large groups, loud noises, and inevitable arguments? Do you just feel “blah” and can’t pull yourself out of the doldrums? Anxiety and depression are strong indicators of stress and past trauma. Working with a Health Coach can help you through the holidays with a lighter heart and less dread.
How to manage mental well-being during the holidays depends on the challenge. Let’s go through a couple.
Social Anxiety. This is related to past trauma – the fear of being unworthy, judged, and not being “enough.” According to the National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH), there are approximately 12.1% of adults that experience anxiety. Honestly, I think that number is waaaaaaay too low – more realistic numbers are in the 60 – 70% with women hitting higher on the scale than men. If you followed my trauma response series take a look at the FLIGHT and the FREEZE blog posts, they may give you a bit more guidance.
Getting out of your head is the first step. Most people, if they can get out of their heads forget all the nonsense and can enjoy the time with family. Work on the positive affirmations. Wake each morning and tell yourself how great your day will be. Get out of the house and go where there are people – not a lot at first – just walk around, and absorb the energy. The holidays bring out a lot of good in people. Volunteer somewhere that will bring you in contact with people. Slowly integrate with more people. If things get too much, take a break – go for a walk – listen to some music – talk to a friend. Just don’t give up! It takes time. You are amazing! You are worthy! You are capable. You CAN do this!
Sensory Overload. This is my problem. I am an empath and I have always overloaded too easily. As I grow stronger in understanding, the less it affects me negatively, but I do have my days. Bright lights, loud sounds, and lots of energy are all too stimulating. People with some form of Autism may struggle during the holidays. Children also find holidays to be a sensory overload and may act out because they don’t know how to handle it. As with yourself, be kind, be patient, be understanding.
Ensure you have a place you can go to relax and destress. A room set aside for you, a place outside, or somewhere else that you feel safe. Talk to your family / tribe. Let them know of the challenges you face and that you may need to leave or go to a safe place with little notice or need to have music and bright lights moderated. Fidget devices may help distract you.
Many people with PTSD suffer from sensory overload-related triggers. If you are or have a family that suffers from PTSD, talk to them and find out ways to ease their stress.
If you or a child suffer sensory overload due to being on the Autism spectrum, specific diet changes may be helpful. Removing potential food allergies, specifically grains, dairy, and nuts may positively impact the effects of Autism.
Low Self-Esteem. People with low self-esteem struggle with social gatherings. You may find them acquiescing to everyone or staying in a corner. These are both trauma responses and the social gathering is a trigger. Understanding that a past trauma may be the cause may be surprising to some, especially those who are the center of attention helping everyone around them. My blog post on the FAWN response may provide some additional help.
Learning to say “no” is the most important lesson anyone with low self-esteem can learn. Creating boundaries is critical to building positive self-worth. Positive self-love is important in changing our viewpoint of ourselves, thus changing the outward view we project. In the beginning, you may need to walk away from situations you are not strong enough to interject that “no” for, such as an overbearing relative. It takes time and lots of patience. Journaling your hopes, dreams, goals, and fears is a great way to start working on those changes. Who do you want to be? What don’t you like about yourself? Can you change it? If not, let it go. YOU are in charge. YOU are the only one that can change. You are stronger than you know. You’ve got this.
Depression. People with severe depression around the holidays typically have lost loved ones or had a traumatic event around the holidays. Winter hours with more darkness than light, and with people spending more time cooped up create “winter blues.” Take time to read my blog on the Blues for more insight.
Exercise is the best way of fighting depression. 30 minutes of activity boosts your serotonin levels and gives you an “exercise high” boosting your mood instantly. Omega3 is another quick mood booster, if you are not eating enough fatty fish, ensure you are taking an organic Omega 3 supplement. Talking and journaling are also critical to resolving depression. Hiding away and not facing things only makes them worse. The holidays aren’t going away. You may not fix everything before this holiday is fully upon us, but you can take positive steps to overcoming the deep dark depression that steals away joy and happiness.
Past Trauma. A couple of weeks ago I completed a series on past trauma. Understanding that we ALL have past traumas and we ALL have to work to resolve them is the important first step. Many times people use past trauma to justify behavior: my parents did this or that, I was raped, I was bullied. These are NOT guidelines for our life moving forward. You are an adult now and must take responsibility for who and what you are today. Stop blaming others as that reduces who you are.
Ways to manage stress through the holidays.
- Positive Self Talk. Three positives for every negative.
- Time, self, handmade items. Giving is healing.
- Allow yourself to receive not only gifts but love and help from your tribe.
- Stay active. Exercise reduces stress and increases happy chemicals in the brain.
- Don’t compare. You are unique. You are special.
- You are not perfect. Nor should you be. You are special just the way you are. Failures teach us what not to do to accept what we can.
- Take time for yourself.
- Write down your thoughts and feelings – good and bad – and let the bad go.
- No one is perfect. We don’t get along with everyone BUT we can accept them as they are.
- Enjoy the time together. Enjoy the time alone.
- Have fun. Be in the moment and enjoy what you have.
As a Certified Holistic Health Coach, I work with many people to guide them through the process of resolving past traumas, gaining a positive outlook on life, changing their lifestyle for a healthier life, educating people on nutrition for a longer life, and bringing joy back to people without hope. Please reach out if you are ready to take the first steps toward a healthier future.
I wish you all a very happy holiday season!
Blessings – E