Good Day! I hope you are gaining useful information on trauma responses. We continue to the third response – the FREEZE response. I’ll continue to follow the same layout as the previous ones sharing what causes it, how to recognize it, and how to resolve it. Remember that this is a personal journey. If you are journaling, the things there are honest and frank and at times may be very difficult to express. This is all part of the journey. In order to heal, you must first express and expel. Also remember, that this is a process. You will not remove all your trauma in one go. Be kind to yourself and don’t fret over slow beginnings. Many trauma responses will take years to overcome – this is a guide to starting that journey only.
Trauma can be defined as any event in your past that made a profound negative impact on you. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, anger, death, and loss, are only a few. Trauma that occurred as a child may seem silly as an adult, but if it has not been resolved, it continues to affect the adult. Things you may “know” are minor or silly, but you may still feel the response if not resolved. And there may be things that you have locked away so tightly that you don’t remember the event, but still have the response. What I am trying to say is this. Nothing is silly. Nothing is minor. Nothing can be brushed off and not resolved. And nothing is easy. This takes work on your part. BUT – the results will change your life for the good. Let’s get started!
The FREEZE response is one in which you associate danger with people directly. It is also known as a “camouflage” response because it is similar to an animal that freezes hoping the predator will not notice them and leave. There are a variety of degrees of the FREEZE response based on past trauma and your level of healing. You prefer solitude and may be referred to as a hermit. Some are highly alert during their freeze; others disappear into another world to escape the trauma. Situations that can create a FREEZE response can include:
- When there is little positive relational experiences
- When they have a severe and critical inner critic
- When as a child the caregiver creates high fear in the child
- When a child is verbally abused
- When a child is emotionally abused
- When a child is abandoned either physically or emotionally
Many adults with the FREEZE response You prefer to disconnect from society, sleep a lot, daydream, and prefer activities that disconnect you from physical contact with others, such as video games. You may feel that you don’t know HOW to interact with people, have little social grace, and are extremely uncomfortable in social settings, even with those closest to you. You tend to be extremely critical of yourself and expect perfection in all things you do. Panic attacks and anxiety are outward examples of this response. Examples of the FREEZE response include:
- ADD tendencies
- Skittish, anxious behavior
- Anxiety
- Increased heart rate
- Hyper alertness
- Uncomfortable in a crowd
- Solitary lifestyle
- Disassociating with others
Managing the FREEZE response. Stop. Breathe. Consider what was the trigger for this response. Breathe deeply and slow your heart rate. Look at your surroundings closely to confirm you are ok. Walk around and slowly breathe in. Understand that you are not in any danger. Understand that you will not be harmed.
If this is a reaction to yelling, loud sounds, etc. You may need to slowly retrain your brain to see them in a different light. Obviously, certain loud sounds may be helpful, but triggering your FREEZE response every time, is not.
Many find several little tricks may help manage the response. Tapping has been known to aid in reducing anxiety and stress. This is a great article explaining the process. Yoga and other similar types of meditative relaxation also aid in reducing anxiety. I strongly suggest walking 30 minutes each day to destress and manage anxiety. Journaling is also a good method of working through this response, pouring it out on paper releases it from the body.
Resolving the FREEZE response. Figuring out what caused the initial trauma allows you to begin to take steps to unpack the trauma from an adult perspective and move beyond it. Journaling will aid you not only in discovering the initial trauma but also your triggers. Facing each and working through the why will allow you to resolve and move beyond it. Meditation helps keep you in a positive mental attitude and lessens the chances of falling back into old habits.
Breathing. Calming yourself is critical to relieving the FREEZE response. With a fear of harm, you must navigate the world around you and realize that every situation, every person is not the enemy.
Positive Self-Talk. With an extreme inner critic, you must change the way you speak to yourself. For every negative or highly critical response, find three positive ones. They are there. If you can’t find them about yourself, find them about the world you are in. “The sun is out” “I like the sun” “I like listening to the water” as you progress you will be able to see the positive in you. “I like my eyes” I like my strength” I like my path” “I am doing my best today” You may need to use a rubber band or a hair tie to remind you of your harsh inner critic. Snapping it each time you say something inappropriate in your head and remind yourself to find three positives.
Your Tribe. Your first steps out of a solitary life should begin with your tribe. These steps must be slow and steady. Maybe go for a walk / hike with someone that you trust. Then two or three people on a similar excursion. Then maybe dinner with a friend, and then two or three or a family dinner. Expect setbacks, they are always there. Remember to journal after your “outings” to see the positive and to learn from the triggers.
I’m in a situation that scares me. When you find yourself in a situation that terrifies you remember these things. It is natural to have these reactions. You need to learn to differentiate between the FREEZE response and your natural wariness. Second, breathe. Slow down your heart rate. Find a well-lit place and relax. Use tapping when necessary. Third, determine whether you are truly in danger or if the environment was a trigger. If in danger, call 911. If not, understand you are safe. Once you are calm enough to move, do so. Be patient with yourself – remind yourself that you are working towards your solution – be kind to yourself – remind yourself that you are doing better than before – you are taking positive steps forward.
Blessings – E