The second installment of this series discusses what trauma is, what causes it, and why it stays with us into our adult lives.
Trauma has been defined as an “overwhelming life-altering event, resulting in pervasive physical, psychological, or emotional distress.” LD Culpepper – The Link: Trauma and Substance Abuse
Generally speaking, trauma is a stressful life event often accompanied by shock and a survival response. Traumatic events have primary effects not only on our overall functioning but can also destroy an individual’s fundamental assumptions about the safety of the world, the value of self, and the order of the society at large. Judith Lewis Herman – Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence – from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
Throughout our lives, we “latch on” to things that make a profound impact on our lives. Some things may appear to be irrelevant to others, but if we already have the seed of that inside, it grows with each trauma event. If you think you are ugly or less appealing to the people around you and someone repeatedly tells you that you are less – ugly – or lifts up others because of their beauty, that seed grows and begins to strangle you. Many times you may not even realize what that vine in you is doing.
You may strive for beauty, you may strive for power, you may dive into drugs and alcohol, you may become aggressive, or you may hurt those you love because of their appearance or appeal to others. You may push away the good in your life because you don’t feel worthy. Whatever it looks like, it is a trauma response.
Trauma takes many forms and can look like:
- Domestic violence
- Sexual trauma
- Being the victim of a violent crime
- Being abused as a child
- Military combat
- Living through a natural disaster or war
- Prolonged physical torture or kidnapping
- Unexpected death or loss of a loved one
- Crime, burglary, or a gunshot accident
- Vehicular or industrial accidents
- Being attacked by a wild animal
- Seeing another person hurt or a dead body
- Divorce or a breakup
- Work or job stress
- Financial hardship
- Health issues
- Traffic jams
- Family conflicts
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is an extreme response to an extreme trauma. If trauma is unresolved, repeated, or so violent that we cannot face it, PTSD can be a result. It is not only seen in people who have been to war but also in people who have been damaged by circumstances and people in their lives that they cannot face or resolve.
To heal, trauma must be faced and resolved. This may take many forms and may take a long time. It is not something that is quick and easy – otherwise, it wouldn’t have a trauma response and you wouldn’t have it locked away in a box, in a room, behind a door, that is triple locked.
Journaling goes a long way in beginning that process. When you have a trauma response, take time to sit down and write it out. Why did you react? What trauma from your past triggered that response? How should you have responded? How do you want to react in the future?
The next step will be to control those reactions, even if it is to have the reaction – realize it – and apologize for it… you are moving forward. But you can’t stop there. You need to make positive steps forward each time the trigger is presented. CHOOSE to be better. CHOOSE to overcome. Don’t blame the trigger – you are an adult and are fully responsible for your actions.
As an adult, take a look at what caused the trauma. I expect like me, you will see it with new eyes. Look at the situation or the person. This will also help your trauma response. If you continue to have the trauma response without resolving it, you are reinforcing the negative behavior – affecting not only you but your loved ones as well.
The next installment will talk about each of the four trauma responses. Keep writing!
Blessings – E