Congratulations! You’ve taken the biggest step already. When choosing to make a change, whether it be your weight, a job, your health, or a relationship, it all starts with the first step. But where to begin is often more challenging than anything else. We doubt ourselves, we over think things, and we over-analyze every piece of it.
The first steps to a healthy change are based on finding what you truly want to change. We may say, we want to lose weight, but is that truly your desire? Is it to feel better? To look better? To be able to run and play with the kids (or grandkids)? What is your heart’s desire?
If you aren’t certain, make a list – your good traits, your bad traits, what you want to change and in which order. You will find that many things are synchronistic in nature – once you begin this journey you will find you are checking off more than one thing at a time.
I always recommend taking stock of where you are today. What are you doing today? If you want to lose weight or get healthy, start with what you are doing now. How often do you eat? What are you eating? Are you exercising? How much? Get a journal and write it down. Don’t condemn yourself for any bad habits. You are just gathering the facts right now. Do this for 30 days.
Look! You have already taken two steps forward! No stress there!!! Congratulations!
With most things physical (losing weight, getting physically healthy, getting in shape, etc.) you will find that food is at the core. You’ve done your journaling right? You know the good, the bad, and the ugly. The first thing you need to remind yourself is that this is a journey. This isn’t a diet. This isn’t a punishment. This isn’t a hardship. We are going to change your relationship with food starting today.
Food is our energy source but for many it is also a crutch when we are sad, angry, depressed, or agitated. Consider your relationship with food. What is it for you? Why do you eat? Do you binge? When? And why? Get that journal out and write your answers down. This is for no one to see but you so be honest. You will need these things to move forward. If you aren’t ready to be 100% honest with yourself, you aren’t ready for this journey.
Many people eat fast food and processed food because they either don’t like to cook, don’t know how to cook, or don’t make the time to cook. What is your excuse? Does your partner / spouse share the responsibilities of the kitchen? More info for your journal.
If your changes are more cerebral (get out of a bad relationship, heal a relationship, overcome anxiety of crowds, etc.), your steps will be different, but the same at the same time. You will still make small goals and work towards them. Everything worthwhile takes time and energy. Don’t limit the time needed to make the change. Don’t think about the big picture and how hard it will be to succeed. One day… one step at a time.
Since I am asking you to be open and honest, I will share my story with you. Mine is a combination of physical and cerebral. Growing up, I was the only girl in a large family. I was the instigator for many adventures with my siblings. But I was alone a LOT. I am not like anyone in my family and felt like an outsider – the black sheep of the family. I was raised in a very traditional family – man goes to work to support family and wife stays home and takes care of the house and kids. My father was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive and I escaped as soon as I was able. When I married, I found that my husband was very much like my father, and I struggled. This is a lot of back story I know, but sometimes we have to dive deep to understand the why of things.
I ate when I was stressed. I ate when I was unhappy. I ate when I was lonely. But I also worked out a lot. It was ingrained in me that I had to look good all the time. I am fortunate that I didn’t become Anorexic or Bulimic. The way I looked was always a huge part of my life. My dad nicknamed me Ox and it always stuck with me that I wasn’t good enough. As I aged, it was harder to lose the weight by exercising. My way of managing stress wasn’t working. My way of handling loneliness wasn’t working. And so when relationships failed and work failed, I spiraled downward fast and furious. I gained a LOT of weight. Other relationships failed. I spiraled more. I started having problems with my digestive track. My hair started falling out. My life was bleak. One day, I said, “ENOUGH!” and that was my first day.
I worked hard at doing what I could to repair relationships where I knew I had failed family and friends. Not all worked out, but I worked hard at it and did succeed to retain many that were important to me. I changed the way I looked at myself. I had to use a lot of positive self-talk to change my view of myself. I changed my relationship with food. Understanding what drove me to eat when I wasn’t hungry allowed me to resolve those issues and do positive things rather than destructive things. I stop and consider why I am eating before I take a bite out of normal meals. Why am I eating? Is this something I need? Is there a better way to handle how I am feeling? It took a LOT of soul searching, a lot of humbling myself, and a lot of positive internal talk over negative thoughts. I did it and so can you.
So, what to do? Figure out short term goals. If it has to do with food, slowly start changing your relationship with food. Crowd out those bad things and slowly change to eating better. This doesn’t happen overnight. Expect it to take a while, mine took two years. As you start making those changes, put them in your journal! Share your triumphs with your tribe so they can celebrate with you! If you don’t have a tribe yet, go find one. Short term goals should be something like – I currently walk 250 steps a day, I will walk 500 steps every day moving forward. Next goal should be something like 1,000 steps and so on… don’t worry about what your overall goal will be, just make the small ones and celebrate your successes! You will not make your goal from time to time. Don’t berate yourself. You have done so well. One day isn’t a failure. Just don’t give in and stop. If you make too big of a goal, reign it back in and choose an easier one.
You CAN do this! I have every faith in you! I celebrate all your successes with you!
Blessings – E